Active listening ability can be improved by anyone through conscious and repeated training. It is effective to acquire concrete skills based on the mindset of Carl Rogers’ 3 principles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here, we introduce 7 concrete methods that can be practiced in daily communication<\/strong> for improving active listening ability.<\/p>\n\n\n\nMethod 1: Aim for a Conversation Ratio of “Other Party 7: Yourself 3”<\/h3>\n\n\n\n The basis of active listening is creating more time for the other party to talk than for yourself.<\/strong><\/span> As a guideline, it is good to be conscious of dividing the overall conversation time to “70% for the other party and 30% for yourself.”<\/p>\n\n\n\nControl your own desire to talk and concentrate on throwing out questions to make it easier for the other party to speak, and delivering effective acknowledgments. The other party gains satisfaction from “having talked a lot,” and the listener can draw out more information<\/strong> \u2014 realizing communication that is beneficial for both parties.<\/p>\n\n\n\nMethod 2: Practice “Backtracking” \u2014 Repeating the Other Party’s Statements<\/h3>\n\n\n\n Backtracking is the technique of repeating a part of the other party’s statement as is \u2014 the so-called “parrot” method.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\nFor example, if the other party says “I was nervous during yesterday’s presentation,” you respond with “You were nervous during the presentation, were you?” This clearly sends the message of “I am properly listening to what you are saying,” and the other party can continue speaking with peace of mind. It also serves as confirmation that you have correctly understood the content of the conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
However, overusing it creates a mechanical impression, so the key is to pick up important keywords and words that express emotion and weave them into the conversation in a natural way.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nMethod 3: Match Speaking Pace and Tone of Voice with “Pacing”<\/h3>\n\n\n\n Pacing is the technique of matching your own way of speaking to the other party’s speaking speed, tone, volume, and rhythm.<\/strong><\/span> People tend to unconsciously feel affinity and a sense of security toward those who have a similar tempo and atmosphere to themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\nIf the other party speaks slowly and calmly, adopting a gentle tone yourself; if they speak passionately and quickly, adjusting your tempo to be slightly faster \u2014 by matching the other party’s wavelength, a sense of unity is created and a comfortable communicative space can be established.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Method 4: Subtly Imitate the Other Party’s Gestures and Expressions with “Mirroring”<\/h3>\n\n\n\n Mirroring is a non-verbal communication technique of subtly imitating the other party’s posture, gestures, and expressions.<\/strong><\/span> For example, if the other party crosses their arms, you do so as well; if the other party nods, you nod in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\nAs with pacing, a psychological effect can be expected where people tend to feel affinity toward those who make similar movements, facilitating the building of a trust relationship. However, imitating in an obvious way can make the other party uncomfortable, so the key is to always do it naturally.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nMethod 5: Do Not Interrupt, and Listen All the Way to the End Until the Other Party Has Finished Speaking<\/h3>\n\n\n\n Interrupting the other party in the middle of a conversation is one of the most important things to avoid in active listening.<\/strong><\/span> While listening to the other party, you may think you can see where the conclusion is headed, or you may want to argue against it.<\/p>\n\n\n\nHowever, if you interject at that point, the other party feels “my words weren’t heard to the end” and “I am not being respected,” causing them to lose the desire to talk. Maintaining an attitude of patiently listening until the other party has said everything they want to convey<\/strong> is indispensable for building a trust relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\nMethod 6: Deliver Appropriate Acknowledgments and Show a Listening Attitude<\/h3>\n\n\n\n Acknowledgments are an important signal that conveys not just a reply, but the message “I am listening to what you are saying with genuine interest.”<\/strong><\/span> Rather than monotonously repeating “yes” or “I see,” it is effective to use a variety of expressions \u2014 such as “I see,” “Is that right,” and “And what happened after that?” \u2014 that convey empathy, surprise, interest, and encouragement for the speaker to continue.<\/p>\n\n\n\nBy delivering varied acknowledgments interspersed with nods at appropriate moments, the other party can continue speaking rhythmically and comfortably.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Method 7: Summarize and Confirm the Other Party’s Words Before Expressing Your Own Opinion<\/h3>\n\n\n\n After hearing the other party’s words in full, rather than immediately stating your own opinion or advice, it is important to pause for a moment.<\/strong><\/span> First, summarize the key points of what the other party has said in your own words \u2014 such as “So, you are struggling with the challenge of \u25cb\u25cb, is that right?” \u2014 and confirm that there is no discrepancy in understanding.<\/p>\n\n\n\nThis one extra step gives the other party the reassurance of “my words were accurately understood.” Additionally, by having the points of the conversation organized, the subsequent dialogue becomes more constructive and meaningful.<\/p>\n\n\n
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